I am going to school for English Literature and to teach people English and writing [creatively]. But, if there is truly something–outside of academia–that I could teach it would be how to survive.
The type of survival I’m talking about is not the drop me in the middle of the desert with a paper clip and duct tape and see me manage to live and thrive with nothing, but the no matter how many times life knocks you down you get back up type of surviving. That would be the one thing I wish I could teach others or the thing that people learn from me.
It’s taken me a very long time to truly be open not only to others but to myself about myself and my past. I used to put everything in a box and put the box away. Granted, I still do it now … but I examine the contents of the box quite a bit sooner than an oh let’s say fifteen to twenty year gap between incident and dealing with the content.
I see so many teenagers on the website, Tumblr, discussing killing themselves and I don’t understand it. I’m not saying it is over dramatized because I’ve had those low points in my life. But what happens is when you do that at such a young age you have no concept of what it’s like really looking back at your younger self. When I was sixteen and if I looked back on my eight-year-old self … I was still a child and wasn’t rationalizing like I do today at twenty-eight. So, it is not incorrect thinking when I say that you shouldn’t end your life but just continue to get back up and live each day to the best that you can because there is nothing more satisfying than looking back at who you were, who you are, and looking towards who you can be and knowing you survived and will keep surviving until you realized you are at the point in your life where you wanted to be all along. It happens while you are living your life. It really does. One day you look around and realize that everything you wanted or asked for is right at your finger tips. You just need to be patient and survive.