I am the cookie queen. However, I’ve mentioned lately that I’ve been having some issues with my baking. Well, for the most part I’ve gotten it squared away. But, I was making these Island Cookies and I’m going to completely revamp the recipe next time I make them because I didn’t go with my gut. Now, don’t get me wrong they came out great. But that doesn’t mean they are perfect. When you are baking if you honestly feel that the recipe calls for too many chips — EFFING HALVE THEM! Don’t be an idiot like me and follow the recipe to a T for the first time and realize you should have just listened to your gut instinct.
I know it sounds horrible to say, but it is true. Every time he comes over my meals get ruined. I don’t know why. To test out this theory I made this Balsamic Pulled Beef that I’ve made before and this Galveston Chicken recipe. Both came out horrible. I was so angry that I called him an @$$hole. Yes, I blamed it on him. He is the only common denominator. So, tell me, are there any people in your life that no matter what you do you end up making a complete and total a-hole out of yourself at every turn?
So, for the last several batches of cookies I’ve made, I have tried and tried but my cookies weren’t expanding. I am the cookie queen so this shouldn’t be happening. If it’s happened to you and you can’t figure it out I’m going to give you some helpful tips to see what is happening in your kitchen to make sure you’ve not shot yourself in the foot like I did.
The first step:
Check your baking soda.
Most cookies require baking soda. Believe it or not it can go bad. I don’t like to keep cooking baking soda for longer than a year. It’s often only 69 cents at my local stores so if I don’t use it all throughout the year I won’t cry at having to replace it.
Try chilling the recipe for a little while. Sometimes this does help.
Third step — and the most important:
Check the color of your baking sheet!
I made over five batches of cookies and then one pre-made cookie batch. I couldn’t figure out what exactly was going on with my recipe and I tried everything at that point I could think of. But, even the pre-made cookies weren’t spreading. So, I called my mother. She is a horrible person, FYI. I went through the list of all the things I had changed and still nothing was working. My mother, yes that horrible person, asked the simplest question: What color is your baking sheet? I told her I hated her and to shut up. She laughed and hung up on me. I couldn’t believe I was so silly! That really was one of the stupidest things I’ve done. I know better! I was using a dark non stick cooking sheet rather than a light (silver) cooking sheet. So, I made a batch of pre-made on the silver sheet and boom all problems solved.
Now, if you’ve tried all of this and it is a new recipe … IT IS THE RECIPE! I’ve made this one recipe seven times and have tweaked and done everything I can to correct this supposed “best chocolate chip cookie recipe” I found on All Recipes and I don’t care what anyone else says, this recipe is crap. I’m so angry at the amount of product I wasted because try as I might it wasn’t working.
Getting this apartment together has been a slow go. The reason is primarily I move slower than molasses. It is easy to get overwhelmed and I am becoming overwhelmed. I can’t find the will power to say, “Okay, let’s do this!” So, I’ve not done a darn thing. I spent time yesterday getting a collage frame together and realized that everything was upside down–after spending ten minutes already redoing it several times over. I almost threw it out the window.
I have zero patience.
I have more photos I’ve got to print out and put up. Some of these I will need to get professionally printed. I have a photo printer, but it only prints out 4×6 photo sizes. Which is perfect for the collage but I need large photos to take up the space so that I don’t feel cluttered.
I’ve also need to get some crafty things going so I can create my own works of art.
Maybe I can try modern art attempts?